Last days

Oh no, I am not the real fill-o-soapy kinds that only serious and grave stuff would be spoken. Right now, I am in a phase where all I know is that I have only few days, that might even co-relate to being going to die or just perish away from earth. But No, I am talking of being in a place where you have been for long long time and its time to bid goodbye. Normally one should feel sad, right? As you know me (or not), I do not find solace in feeling sadness out of these mere silly stuff. Hell yeah, I am super happy. I was not even happy when I got my first precious salary. People despised me. I spent no penny on anything. I must be crazy to do that, considering my spending trends in last few months.

As I go forward, this peice of writing is more becoming a personal diary material than being on blog as a Post for display. One has to forget that. Seriously. Not one. Me.

Okay, now this isn't about leaving the country, town, family et al matter for various reasons. This is about leaving an organization. Yes, I said it. I wanted to know how it felt like putting in the papers for good (or bad). Always had this snort-able imagination that, I would enter this small but the most gigantic respected room in an office building, walk towards my seated boss in that puffy comfortable chair, and slid/throw the letter of intent to resign on the table and say it loud and authoritatively 'I quit'. Thanks to the digital world, all you get to do these days is go to a portal, click a button and Done! How not very interesting.

By the way, this happened many days back. Was not very reluctant to post it, but here it is.

Also, a little update, I got to know somewhere in Sweden, Companies have a rule for employees to take a dance break for 1 hour daily. NOW THAT IS AWESOME. Here in India, if we get time to sleep, do meaningful work and reach home/workplace without one traffic signal and bumper-to-bumper traffic and stop making fun of corporate world via forwards, that will be awesome. Forwards are like cheerleaders for us corp-donkeys, let it not stop. Ever.

Lesson: Joy out of trivial stuff - Amazing feeling

Blah 2

I shoot for the stars, I get pelting of stones
I jump for the sky; I get hit by the ceiling
I run behind the car, I am on reverse gear of treadmill
Have a trophy in my hand, still not worth the effort
Never imagined the life would turn the way it will or would have, still it goes on.

This is story of each and every if not almost all living being on earth. We are not happy with what we get. Irascibility is elevated so high in such situations that sheer display of acute niceness can kill an innocent soul. Even if Google were your best friend and assuming you have no questions or statements to type or voice out in search box, it remains empty, what is the use of a friend then. That dull, a life can become. How we be. Akin to madness. Ostensible mind, pretentious roads to travel on. Nothing makes sense. Yes, nothing at all. I can only imagine to earn myself some qualities of enervation and transient distress but at the same time, expect myself to be true to yourself, and competitive and strong and ready to take on the world as it comes.
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Here comes the Girl with mirthful confusions out of her closet after long time. Lately, mirthy has been very intact to the ground, passing on advices and ideas for betterment of others and only to the length of slight for herself. The confusions were not that were inside her, she tried to see it from others' eyes to get a better idea to exactly what to look out for. So far, successful I believe. However, there is always a stopping point and here it is. Being mirthfully confused the girl is, she couldn't stay away from her roots of being confused to the core and talking naaan-sense. So here she is, back with one para and stretching out of on words, which she couldn't limit. *Sigh - felt like I was announcing some star to the centre stage* Thank you thank you.

Interesting find: Mirthful confusion Do I read it right? Yes apparently. *shock*

There is nothing to update as such this month. Recently, lightening struck me, oh not literally of course, that fusion of words, has a Word. I mean the words which we casually make, like fantabulous, surburagotry, satyameva, chillax, humongous, Velcro etc etc are nothing but called portmanteau words. There is more to it about morphemes and all, which I am not interested to elaborate, go google! and What! You knew about it? Oh C’mon! *bangs the hand on the desk to make a dramatic scene*

Lesson for a lesson:
No posts for long time, did not want to bore myself after years when I re-read all my posts with depressing and saggy thoughts. Hence anxiety with distress and mind numbness and stupidity and many more related jargons, all together as a cocktail.

P.S. I think I will have to re-write this post, so erratic and I don't know, who are you?

P.S.2 Sorry, if you have read it. Seems like I am carrying the torch for Blah series. Guilty!

Behind every happiness, there is sadness?

I have been moaning, horrid that it sounds to me; it should also sound the same to you. If not, don’t force me to take my bamboo stick out from my drawer and beat your guts out to overcome the displeasure in my mind.
This is a common thought for students like me (sometimes) who think teachers punish us for everything unimportant in the world which includes her fight with her husband, quarrel with some woman from morning in the bus, or just the aberrant attitude of hers. It is never us, it can't be. As selfish as it seems, we were all small innocent perky fun-loving kids who would do nothing wrong. Always first to blame, and get belligerent at the idea of some elder telling us that it was our mistake. Later to realize the exact mistake committed by us, some days, some years back. By the time, we understand the whole concept of punishing for reason; we are either old or have had enough or both. Some of us had this inevitable grasping power to understand such situation from childhood. I would say with a chin up that I was of that kind. It had its advantages and disadvantages. One being you feel guilty for even the smallest mistake you make and become restless; the same guilt leads to the class calling me a nerd and blasphemous creature towards the class-dudes and babes. Well that did not go for long, so I was a happy kid back to being all innocent perky and strict and twirling around in the frock when I was in primary level school. So where am I getting at? I have absolutely no clue.

Continuing with the stint that I have ranted above, why do we hardly remember the times when we’re happy and more about the times when were frowning or sad? I am sure everybody is not always happy and always sad. All have their decent shares, so those who complain suck it up, you are better off being even able to open your mouth to chatter words of unhappiness. I think the first paragraph will be slightly disjointed from what I am going to write.

One of the eternal great days of sadness in my life is my Birthdays. Logically, one is happy on this particular day because (1) you are born with the bloody, fluid-y, cute whiny face out to the world, (2) you are showered with gifts, (3) you are wished by everyone you know or not know which makes you feel special (ah right, some celebrity or something) and (4) a gaudy party that some throw, to dance and enjoy with drinks and friends. Some also feel they are old and wise now, let us take that as a (5), especially when you are turning 18 and you can now get that priceless official driving license to show around and of course drive(ermm...safe). And many more unreasonably defective excuses (for me) like that.

For people like me, an infinity points list of reason saying that birthday is a blitheful day won't suffice. One and only one establishing and verified fact is that you are a year older on this day, let’s face it, people like me want to na-ah-absolutely grow and be a child forever instead. One day, we will be so old that we won’t be able to walk, jump, laugh, eat what I want. I want to hold the time *ooh, I really want that*. I am being a hypocrite here, cos' I am a person who preaches of accepting the change, but seriously, Birthdays, humph! Also, you are wished by people whom you haven't spoken to in years, not that they were ever close to you or people who you have never met or interacted with. I know that by greetings, people are being nice and all, but I don’t want that fake-nice. Yes, it’s just me here. Parties, dancing, enjoying, being mature, and you are left out on any appending gruesome work that day, etc etc are all good, no doubt. However the ageing, wishing overload and related miseries overshadows all that for me and I would work as a donkey on that day to avoid the greetings and keep myself busy. Yes, I am a very very very boring person. At the end of the day of my birthday, I always have that tranquil smile on my face that it wasn’t that bad and my dear ones took care of it very well even though I complain and retreat all day about how I don’t like my B'days. So that sums it up. Sad but not really dreary. Happy but not really joyful. Neutral?! ah, whatever. It is a special day, whatsoever.

How puny the matter is, we humans or any living organism in the world tend to find some expression to our life. As sun dawns, even though you are sad, you have this tinge of happiness somewhere in your breath, I feel.

Lesson: Behind every sadness, there is happiness and vice-versa. True to the title!
tooo filmy! :D

P.S. A friend asked me to write about happiness, but I couldn't really relate to happiness without any dullness in the background, hence this post. I have realized over the years that Happiness is treasured more by people who have been through at least 2 seconds of moaning or colossal dark shadows which are I guess, extreme.

Strange, strange world

It is strange that you trust someone you do not know or haven't ever met before. That first single meet you had, was enough for the same words ever said by other people who have been trying to convey the same thing for days. There have been instances wherein you record a person's face and that face alone acts as a charm for you to believe in something that you hadn't before.

It is strange why gravity is only for the ground/ground zero and not for sky or something which could be termed as sky zero.

It is strange that I like you but you don’t like me, it is strange you like me now and I don’t anymore. It is way strange if you like me, I like you, others like us and still we don’t like the idea.

Its is strange that train always arrives on the opposite platform first and arrival count keep on increasing as the time passes when you have none where you are standing.

It is strange that the only star in the sky you find shining is not really appealing to all.

It is strange when someone tells you, you are weird and I like you. Downright insult packages are they collecting or gathering, eh?

It is strange when you know you are right, but you still feel guilty.

It is not strange when someone tells you that you experienced a paranormal thing, but only if you believed them.

It is very strange how greedy people can be, nothing is enough. Human tendency altogether again!

It is strange that no one is happy with what they are/have, and still claims to be happy for the sake of keeping others happy or maybe jealous enough.

It is strange why humans are shaped the way they are and four-legged animals are structured the way they are. Know there are scientific explanations.

It is very strange that science could prove so many things, but we believe so many things which is not even close to science or is it? *whispers, yes they are*

It is so strange that what I feel strange, doesn’t seem to be strange to you.

Strange term is very subjective, not at all times. If there were no strange events happening around, world would have been so boring. All the intriguing facts have always started with quotes like "How strange that is" or something on similar lines.

Strange things are those which are told by Sirii out of context but true in some sense or sold these days on EBay and Amazon from left over French toasts by Justin Timberlake to someone's soul for 1 million dollars.
Couldn't help but share this piece from baconbabble: Enjoy! :D

Lesson: Weird, weird world!

There is a part of me...

There is a part of me that stop and stare
Then peruse and glare
Walk like a cat with those facetious eyes
An apparition to keep you in my deluded ways

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There is a part of me that open my heart to vacuum
Hoping a ray of light to catch me and lead me
Such is the divine value of faith that one should have
No one competes, but only beleives
No big words, just a pray
To take me beyond this light if you may

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On a serious note,
If I ever get this poem idea right, I know I will die
and if I dont, I still know I will survive

**An attempt towards poetry, which ahhh is not very satisfactory. So what, bite me! Oh man, it sucks, Razz! Well, Hola 2012**