While I make up my mind about writing something new to endure and to feel like I have thought enough about it, I shall just begin with a random rant about how I am looking forward to so many things which are not in exact near future. My near future is next minute, next day and at the most the next weekend, nothing beyond that. It's shameful that I change definitions for the phrase and words very easily created by the English Gods. They must really hate me. Not because I kill the language, but because I stand by my language and don't care correcting them as per the rules and usual ordinance.
I have been in this alien country for enough months to say I know stuff. Not everything, but stuff which are enough to gulp away the modesty of saying 'Ah I am still new, you have to show me the way'. In a squeaky way of course, you know what I mean. So here I am trying to decide the right thing by trying to choose the right shirt to wear tomorrow. Other days or rather back home, I used to ask my sibling about an opinion and end up wearing something that I subconsciously wanted to. Trust me, that made her crazy big time. Without person like my sibling, I couldn't decide anything or everything. Now replace the shirt with a destination to go to, alone. Yes that dilemma.
(Good job, mirthy on using a random image from the internet)
Its been difficult to decide where to put my next step forward to - like an extra different soil of other state to have a stain on my sneakers. Back home or with friends, decision is normally very conclusive, because plans are interdependent on how all of us think. When it comes to traveling and exploring alone, you have to think for yourself, not only that but apply extra pressure on my hard nut brain by not forgetting any thing to take along with me or even consider some people to contact. Numerous choices that I have, is not exactly a good situation. Because you might end up hurting few people you said you will visit them (or they said I should visit them - works both way) or vice-versa. The vice-versa is for the feeling of un-welcome (if that's a word) by the recipients. In India, "Atithi devo bhava"(The Guest is God) is everything. Hence they should be welcomed and on top of it, treated well even if you don't like it. It's not the same anymore; people change, culture change so does the reaction towards it.
Despite all these things that are revolving like a magnetic ball around my head over a simple thing on where to go and where not to - keeping in mind the positives and pitfalls of the pre-post visits is making me parallel-y anxious. Sigh, that's a long sentence. At least I know where I wouldn't-shouldn't go and which place accounts to place>people. Gives me a genuine unavoidable reason to be excited for the arrival of summer to cherish, enjoy, and all the fun that I have in my convoluted mind of destructs. I hear summer is an awesome time to be here, so ;) yay!
Lesson: Continue being excited, what's there to lose?!
Another note that I wrote to myself couple of weeks ago and to whoever who reads it:
There was no remorse on opposite person's expression after all the hula-hula. You know then and there that, he/she is not worth the importance originally or currently given. Or he/she is just too smart to get affected by petty matters. I go with the former.
Toodles!
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